2024 was one hell of a year 

…is one of the things my therapist and I recounted together in one of my last sessions -given all of the significant shifts both in my life personally and the world as a whole that this year has held. I’ve had some of my most trying moments in 2024, and in turn I have learned to pivot to rewrite the story I thought my life was going to be. 

Since I have officially entered my mid-thirties I feel I have been able to look back and appreciate all of the experiences I have been through in the past 34 years. 

One of the things that really stands out for me particularly has been community.

My heart could burst thinking about the amount of people that have shown me with their actions what chosen family really is over these past 12 months.

I had an old friend re-enter my life (we briefly dated well over a decade ago), take me under her wing along with her partner,and introduce me to a new queer group of friends that I have felt so grateful to have made this past year. The even gayer part of this story is I built these friendships through being invited over and over again to women’s soccer games- which also turned me into a more loyal fan than I ever thought I would be … GO SPIRIT.

Another important thing that stands out from this year in celebration of community – two of my good friends got married in the fall, in the most fun and fabulous queer wedding that ever was. To have been surrounded by so many people who clearly adored them, celebrating the love they have for each other in one space, it was impossible not to feel the galaxy of sparkle from so much love.

As I write again on this site for the first time in well over a year and as this year is coming to a close I arrive at the same conclusion that I have felt for many years, my favorite thing about myself is that I am queer.

Not just for the l-word-like happenstance of the growth of my friend/chosen-family circle, but for so many endless reasons that I hold with such pride. That wasn’t always the case, in fact it took me about 21 years to accept it, and another six or so to fully embrace it unapologetically. 

I really wouldn’t want to exist in this world in any other way other than being gay. 

Life has been so much more fun, simply because I’m gay. Even through the struggles. I wouldn’t change it for the world. And unlike SJP’s character in Family Stone, I would wish that upon my hypothetical children I will never have. 

I recognize with how some things have turned out this year there will be even more tough times ahead of us. 

Like our queer ancestors before us though, we will make it through. Together. We have always made it through in community, collectively. 

Without storms, rainbows don’t exist. And I am the kind of gay that loves the rainbow part of our community. It makes us visible, it is a reminder of safety, and it feels like home. 

There’s a part of me too that realizes now that I am living as that queer adult for a younger generation. So whatever fear I may feel is only fueling me to stay grounded.

The day after the election, I bought myself another Queer hat (shout-out Genuine Valentine) because I won’t allow fear to silence me. I have to say that was probably encouraged too from a letter I have on my desk that a former student wrote to me when I was leaving my librarian job to switch careers. Her words of appreciation for me always being visibly queer with the hats or rainbow fist jean jacket I would wear helped her to accept her queer identity. A reminder that visibility matters. 

Looking ahead, I will leave 2024 behind, thankful for the growth and a promise to the future to only keep getting gayer. 

For everything else there’s recommendations…

Music:

Queen of Jeans – Books in Bed

This entire album is recommendation worthy, but I decided to choose my favorite track. Fun fact: I actually know one of the members from when we met way back when at a gay bar in Philly that has changed its name so many times now, and before Queen of Jeans existed. I was thrilled to finally be able to see them perform live, and holy f**k it was spectacular. Plus, I got to catch up with an old friend in a different city. This album was one of my favorites of the year, I had it on repeat nonstop. If you’ve never heard of Queens of Jeans, go listen…..now. 

Celine Dion – That’s the Way It Is

The return of Celine LIVE had me watching the very long (too long) opening of the Summer Olympics solely for her. It was worth it. Stunning. Jaw dropping. During a tough session this summer where my therapist told me as we were wrapping up that she could see the light returning, I responded to her that I owed it to Celine. Which made my therapist crack up (a sign I usually take as it being a successful session) and then she asked me what song it was. It was this one. Enjoy.

Griff – Tears For Fun

Live music is soul healing. I have been going to shows solo for a long time, many times people will ask me when I tell them I am going to a concert who I am going with. 9 out 10 times it’s by myself. Griff put out an album this year that I fell in love with when I first heard it from beginning to finish. Her lyrics are poetry, her voice is angelic, and overall it’s just a good f**king album. I’ve loved Griff’s music for a bit, so it was a privilege to be able to see her when she had her headlining tour come into DC. That concert at the 9:30 club changed me.

Ariana Grande – yes, and?

I think it’s time I admit to myself Ariana is my favorite current pop diva. She continuously shows up in my top artists at the end of the year and this latest album is yet another one I have had on repeat from start to finish like many of her others. As a good friend of mine who is Ariana obsessed would say, because Same.

India Arie – I am Light

This is another song that got me through this year like a warm lyrical hug on repeat. I recognize my therapist is a key element in this post, and honestly it’s okay because it feels like a shameless plug for mental health and the praise she truly deserves but definitely doesn’t get enough of. She shared this song with me during one of my low points back in December of last year, and it came in clutch for me this year.

Paris Hilton (feat. Meghan Trainor) – Chasin’

Listen, Stars Are Blind is an underrated bop that not enough people admitted way back when was indeed a bop. Paris has made a comeback with this one, and I have to say this song is catchy, fun, and everything we all needed for our playlists for 2024 (and beyond). 

Candi Staton – Young Hearts Run Free

This song is in fact a throwback obviously, but a standout of an amazing soundtrack froma thriller film, Blink Twice, that I saw this year. If you have yet to see that film, stream it…now. (There are some trigger warnings that appear before the film is shown that may make you reconsider wanting to watch, just a note)

Haley Joelle – LA

Beautiful voice and lyrics of poetry are what had me falling in love with Haley’s music this year. Definitely a new favorite artist of mine. Also recommend: Didn’t Miss Me, Two Places at Once, How Many Times.

Chappell Roan- Good Luck, Babe!

I managed to learn this on guitar, but it is still a work in progress so I have yet to post about it…until now. Chappell’s success this year speaks for itself, so I feel I don’t have to say much more than grateful to be alive during the reign of Chappell Roan.

Khalid -Heatstroke

This new album is everything. So smooth, full of soul, and heart. He was outed earlier this year, and while I am happy now be in known community with Khalid it feels important to note that is never okay. 

Beyoncé – Daughter

I enjoyed this album, I have to say though I still am a Renaissance loyalist. This track was a stand out for me , mostly for the lyrics (“Double cross me, I’m just like my father. I am colder than Titanic water“) and the display of Bey’s vocals.

Moving on…I think I would need to do a separate post for all of the books, movies, and tv shows that I enjoyed this year. There are two other recommendations I’d like to highlight though before wrapping up…

Hacks

I’m beyond late to the game on this tv show. Jean Smart pretty much raised me via Designing Women, Homeward Bound, her brief appearance in the Brady Bunch movie (that I was shamelessly obsessed with), Snow Day, and Garden State to name a few. This woman continues to be a north star in my life because holy hell her performance as Deborah Vance. Not to mention how incredibly gay this show is. This was a comfort show on repeat for me this summer. 

I love podcasts, but one particularly deserves a shout-out because in the words of Bowen Yang, I’ve been…through and Leisha & Kate got me through.

During a really tough time in the spring I turned to the PANTS podcast hosted by actors Leisha Hailey and Kate Moennig. It wasn’t even a newer episode, but it was one focused on queer heartbreak. They shared their raw and real experiences with a humorous edge. I had this episode on repeat for months, so much so I could properly recite it in my sleep. The funniest part was, they didn’t answer the question directly that their producer at the time (Arwen I miss you, you will forever be a favorite of mine) asked from a listener.All in all something about this episode was comforting to me in a really dark space. I felt like I was in a world of unknowns and their non-answer made it feel like it was okay that I too felt like I had no answers that made sense. 

Just one more highlight before wrapping up this post…a poem of mine was published in the summer:

You can also find it directly on WWPH’s website here. 

Truly… what a damn year 2024 was, but I survived. Looking back, I did more than survive. Thanks to the people that showed up. It’s hard to imagine that after the rain, the flowers do bloom. After the cold of winter, the sun of spring does arrive. We can’t feel that in the moment, not in our own darkness. For that, we must surround ourselves with people that remind us of who we are. Even if we can’t see ourselves the way others do, they can at least plant the seeds of love to keep us going. 

And in the end, at least we’re gay…or at least I am.